As it is

Thanksgiving!

kzyin — Tue, 22 Nov 2011 16:39:00 +0000

It actually is kind of weird. I grew up not celebrating Thanksgiving. That’s because I’m from Malaysia. We celebrate a lot of other festivals.

But it’s time like this, that I’m away from home, and Thanksgiving is about spending time with family that I wish I never left my country.

Filed under: Penning down

It’s been awhile

kzyin — Wed, 02 Nov 2011 03:18:13 +0000

I’ve gone missing.

Life has been crazy, in many ways. Mostly just scenes playing in my head.

I have so many ifs I need answers to, but I’ll never get them, because this is life. I have so many things that I wished I am, like an engineer, because I’ll be able to get jobs before I graduate, and yes, that is right.

I need a stable paid job, but I also want to do what I want to do.

But I already made my choice – my dream.

I’m a photojournalist.

Filed under: Uncategorized

Indulge yourself in words

kzyin — Thu, 07 Jul 2011 04:58:20 +0000

The rustling of the wind, the dark shadows, the warm and humid night. It doesn’t matter if she had a tiny flashlight attached to her keys. Nothing is going to protect her against what’s out there.

He’s making dinner in the kitchen, she thought. Frying the steak, watching how it turns brown, possibly fanning away the smoke that rises from it, along with the smell of various spices he had put on it.

What if, what if, she never comes back again? Imagine this. Her phone, still in the little pouch with her keys attached to it, ringing, and it goes on for a few seconds. Nobody picks up. It lights up and vibrates, in the lonely pouch. Now, you see a wider angle of the place. You can’t see a thing because it’s pitch black. But consciously, you know the phone is there, vibrating and lighting up as he calls. You just can’t place where exactly the phone is.

Not before too long, there’s been at least ten calls made to the phone. He told her to come back within 10 minutes. Food will be done by then. She had ventured out because she was starving. The day has taken its toll on her. Not that she did anything tiring. In fact, she’s been laying in bed all day. Only escaping from this dream-like state of world for a brief one hour. And then, with no reasons, she comes drifting back.

Whilst in the kitchen, she could no longer stand the smell. The smell of blood oozing out from the steak that was on the frying pan.

“I’ve gotta go get something to eat,” she thinks to herself. She unlocks the door, not sure if she said goodbye, and ventures out. And of course, she was unaware of her surroundings, just like usual.

She decides to take the shorter route, just because she was starving and was craving food really bad. Just as she steps into the shadows, she thought to herself how she had taken this route at 2a.m. and it has never seem to be scarier than now. She peeks at her phone, and it tells her that it’s 15 minutes till 10.

And then she’s gone. He keeps track of time, making sure that her steak will still be warm when she comes back.

Filed under: Uncategorized

暑假

kzyin — Tue, 10 May 2011 16:57:55 +0000

还不知道接下去的路是怎么样的
有种想放弃一切自己远走高飞的感觉

暑假应该相一部日本电影，短，简单还有追求一种心碎的感觉

Filed under: Uncategorized

Challenge: to write anything that comes to mind for 10 minutes

kzyin — Wed, 09 Feb 2011 06:37:54 +0000

I need to rant before I start studying for my Sociology exam. Things have been crazy lately, or I’ve been lazy actually. I should have start organizing and planning my week during the weekends, but then I sort of stuck to my determination of not doing anything to unwind.

I sit here, with numerous events running through my mind that has happened lately. To organize these thoughts, I shall type in bullet points now.

My friend, Shaun, from Adelaide called me at 12am, and we talked for 3 hours. It’s been a long time since I last talked to him (in 2008 actually). We were both surprised by how we both have changed over the years but technically still the same (if you get what I mean). More into this when I have the time

Been kind of dreading my photo project. It’s not that I don’t want to do it, it’s just that I don’t want to go out in this cold weather. The Iowa weather is really getting on my nerves, that or I need to invest in a really good coat or get a car so that I don’t have to walk.

I’ve been pondering about race/diversity issues lately. That and pornography (because I watched a documentary about it in class and have a one-page paper due tomorrow/friday). There is a thin line between pleasing your partner and degrading yourself/encouraging pornography. There is a thin line between using pornography as a intimate sexually pleasurable experience and degrading women/encouraging sexism. This can go on and on. And it bothers me how unconsciously I’ve been influenced by the ideas of pornography as well and how the mainstream media has (throughout the years) instill the ideas of women as sexual objects into our minds.
I will be frank here. Yes, I’ve thought of stripteasing for my man as a Valentine’s gift a week ago, before watching this documentary. And I’ve never watched any strip dance performance live, nor have I watched pornography before (I’ve read my fair share of erotic literature and that’s it). But the mainstream media/our society has instill the ideas of ‘stripteasing is sexy’/'stripteasing will enhance your intimate relationship’/'experimenting things out of your comfort zone in the bedroom’ enough, that even a person like me has been influenced to think that I should really do that for my man.

Okay, my 10 minutes is up and I’ll have to study. I shall ponder upon these topics again in the near future.

Filed under: Day-by-day

back to reality

kzyin — Sun, 15 Aug 2010 14:58:10 +0000

It will never be enough.
I’ve realized a lot of things this summer.
I think i’m going to miss a lot of people.
Leaving is not a happy thing when home is so far away.

Filed under: Day-by-day

again

kzyin — Fri, 04 Jun 2010 23:40:37 +0000

life will be different from now onwards.

Filed under: Confessions

愛

kzyin — Tue, 01 Jun 2010 18:34:03 +0000

這個國家
我愛他我會回來的

Filed under: Day-by-day

夢想

kzyin — Sat, 15 May 2010 20:58:56 +0000

有時候還不知道該做怎樣的選擇
這世界太眇小了

Filed under: 夜深人静

異國

kzyin — Sat, 15 May 2010 04:04:25 +0000

再一次來到一個不熟悉的國家

早飯不熟悉的咖啡
聽著不熟悉的語言

我已經厭倦了不熟悉的感覺
也不知道當初是甚麼把我拉到了這裡

Filed under: 夜深人静